Woof! Bryan's dog barked at the two burglars who had broked into Bryan's house and woke Bryan and his parents up. The burglars took their sack and ran away when Bryan's parents saw them. When they checked the rooms, nothing was stolen. So they clear up the mess the burglars made and went back to sleep.
Bryan thought about how the burglars had broked into their house and he soon fell asleep. He found himself in a deserted house with lots of skeleton.
One of the skull said,"Hey boy! This is our house and you get out! Bryan ran out of the house screaming for help. Suddenly,he
Saw his house. He went in and saw his parents eating his dog
With blood all over their mouth.
Suddenly ,the pumpkin on the table started to laugh ,the
Television started to sing and Bryan's toys started to move around in the toy box.
Bryan screamed with fear and found him self sitting on his bed with his mom sitting beside him. He then realised that he was having a nightmare.
9 comments:
Dear Chen Yang,
I found the second paragraph to be too abrupt. Maybe you can add another sentence in between the 2 sentences to show what you meant?
"Bryan thought about how the burglars had broken into their house and he soon fell asleep. He found himself in a deserted house with lots of skeleton."
good story.
-Zeeshan
nice story but i think it is a little too short.
i also agree with ms safiah and it is good u know
satria
Good story but I think it is too short.
Syazwan
It was a great story but it is to short.
Elaine
its simply too short.try to make it intresting.i know you can do better than that.-.-
it is a little intersting.
good.............. is short
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