All Saturday, Hussein and Aisha were so excited they could not think or talk of nothing else. Their parents had promise to take them to the funfair because they had pass their exam
"GRRR!" The thunder sounded. Suddenly it was raining cats and dogs . They looked at the opposite block and saw the funfair was close. They grumble with sadness.
Their parents decided that they would bring them to the "
When they was at there they change their $25 into tokens and played a lot of games like BOMBERMAN and went into the HUNTED HOUSE. In the end they felt happy eventhough they didn't go the funfair.
20 comments:
Your story is intersting.Li jun
nice story.. like the way you describe it.
It was good and i like the part when they went to the arcade and play Bomberman.
IT WAS VERY GOOD
it should be "haunted house "
All right,
I could see a few grammar mistakes in this story... Those who can identify them, please do so.
Karisma, you can do it too if you identify them.. :-)
By the way, your story is interesting!
Ms Safiah
DEAR READERS,
With help from Ms Safiah, MY CHANGES ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS.
All Saturday, Hussein and Aisha were so excited they could not think or talk of ANYTHING else. Their parents had PROMISED to take them to the funfair because they had PASSED their exam.
"GRRR!" The thunder sounded. Suddenly it was raining cats and dogs. They looked at the opposite block and saw the funfair was CLOSED. They GRUMBLED with sadness.
Their parents decided that they would bring them to the "ARCADE". They were so excited. Mr Ahmad brought Hussein to the car park and quickly drove to fetch Mrs. Amadlina and Aisha.
When they WERE at THE ARCADE they EXCHANGED their $25 into tokens and played a lot of games like BOMBERMAN and went into the HUNTED HOUSE. In the end they felt happy eventhough they didn't go the funfair.
KARISMA
nice infor to share
I like ur story karisma it is very intresting but some grammar mistakes!
nice story karisma,although there r some grammar mistakes.
There were a few grammar mistakes.
your story is very intersting , I like the way u describe the part where it say 'raining cats and dogs'.
I like the 2nd and 3rd paragraph but I think your story is short.
great job well done
1st para no full stop
'HUNTED HOUSE'.What is that?
Your story is too short and there are too many paragraph.
ur story was good but the spelling "hanted house" was supposed to be "haunted house" nice job anyway keep it up!
ur story was good but the spelling "hanted house" was supposed to be "haunted house" nice job anyway keep it up!
nice story.
Nasheyl
not bad
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